How To Win Friends and Influence People

Simple as this. You need to buy/borrow/beg or steal a copy of Dale Carnegie's classic book

"It changed my life"
--Warren Buffett, interview with Evan Davis, BBC2 26th October 2009


While I will summarise the key points of the book in this post. I think it is necessary to read the anecdotes which Dale provides in order to understand the significance and power of his advice.

Fundamental Techniques for Handling People

1. Don't Criticise, Condemn or Complain
2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile
3. A person's name is the most important sound they hear
4. Be a good listener
5. Talk in terms of other people's interests
6. Make the other person feel important..... and do it sincerely

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions, never say "your wrong"
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
4. Begin in a friendly way
5. Get the other person to say "yes" immediately
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
7. Let the other person feel the idea is theirs
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
10. Appeal to nobler motives
11. Dramatise your ideas
12. Throw down a challenge

How To Be A Leader

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
5. Let the other person save face
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in in you appreciation and lavish in your praise"
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest


If you read one book this year make sure it's Twilight!, if you read two, make sure it's this!